I am a web designer/developer by trade. I have always been somehow talented in creative arts. From photography to design to music. However, I’m also bi-polar and have some serious ADD tendencies. Because of this I hardly ever finish anything really intensive unless I’m pushed—and then I’ll get mad at the pusher. Terrible cycle, but it’s me.
I suppose it’s pride, perhaps, but when it comes to hosted blogging solutions like WordPress I used to think it was cool but ‘not for me’. It was for people who couldn’t setup and design a blog for themselves, right? Whenever I would think about starting a blog hosted on WordPress.com. I would always quickly turn myself down the mental road of “No, I wouldn’t have enough control over it. I couldn’t make it represent my full potential because of the limitations placed on me by WordPress. Before doing that, I should just go get the source code, design my blog from scratch, and deploy it on my own server.” That’s all fine and dandy, however there would be a problem: somewhere along that process I would stop and not finish it. The whole idea of having a blog is to write and get your words out there. With a half-finished blog, I wouldn’t be doing any of that. So, finally, getting a WordPress.com blog cuts to the chase and gets me straight to writing.
I’ve always had an interest in writing. Like other things, it has always came easy to me. I love writing, however the aforementioned tendencies usually cause me to not finish or even start ideas I have for writing. I suppose I need to work on my drive.
Over the past year I’ve changed a lot. Gears and cogs have started turning in my mind, slowly starting a machine that shows no signs of slowing down. It’s refreshing, really, though I wish I knew just the reason why. I believe, however, it’s the natural progression of maturity in my life. In less than a month I graduate from high school and my real life begins. Not that the 18 years I’ve already lived hasn’t counted for anything, but it’s only a precursor to what is ahead of me. Other factors may have stimulated this change, such as my being diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder called localized sclerosis. I’m currently undergoing chemotherapy for that, although I try to remain in good spirits about it. Sometimes I think hope is all I have, but it’s enough.
I hadn’t intended initially for this post to be this long, however now I feel it should be even longer. But any more should be rambling, and I do aim to not do that. I’ve recently been called an eloquent rambler by a friend, but still I don’t like to.
First off, welcome to the blogosphere, or whatever you want to call this place. I know how you feel about wanting to create your own place from scratch, and yet also having to deal with never following through/finishing with something – it’s quite a hassle, to say the least. However, I do wish you luck with this, hopefully you may find it a good place to use your love of writing, but also as a way to deal with your bi-polar and “serious ADD tendencies” (as writing has always helped me deal with things, I imagine it does the same for others).
And I think your friend might be right, with the term “eloquent rambler” – embrace it. Some people go on-and-on just for the sake of talking, which is always ugly.